Nuggets of Notions
Well, Kyle... I'm a few hours late. But I'm here now. I have so so many things I want to blog about, but they're all a bit emotional and/or time-consuming... and I've got a book calling my name right now. So for now, I'm just going to post a few little nuggets and promise to come back soon with something more in depth.
- I came really, frustratingly close to sharing a theater and some possible face-time with Michael Cera tonight. You have no idea what a disappointment it was when we found out we were about 4 spots too late in line. Ugh. What a letdown.
- A friend argued today that she thinks we should just face the fact that all relationships end... or at least change. I'm willing to go with the "change" part, except that she sort of implied that all relationships eventually change for ill. I imagine (*hope*) this isn't what she meant... but I'm not actually quite sure. She and I have always viewed relationships very differently. And call me naive or call me an optimist... but I'll never jump on board with the idea that all relationships eventually end. Sure, we die and stuff. But I don't give up easily... if it's humanly possible for me to maintain and even strengthen a relationship (of any kind), you bet your ass I'm going to give it my all. And yes, if you suddenly decide to stop returning my phone calls, e-mails, etc. I'm going to take it personally. I don't care how "busy" you are.
- A different friend encouraged me a few weeks ago to try to "write happiness" so I won't forget what it feels like if I get sick again. I mused that I don't quite know how to write happy... but the more I reflect on that conversation... the more I find myself desperate to try. It scares me that even if I manage to write it, it might not be all that comforting if/when I find myself in the darkness again. But it can't hurt to try... right?
- It's more than a month away, and I already cannot wait for Halloween. I'm throwing a party. I think I'll decorate my apartment with those fake spiderwebs and some red light bulbs. I thought about making my apartment "Hell" ... but I thought it might be weird for a Christian to invite all her friends to "Hell" for the evening.
- Right now I'm reading a book that I'm equal parts wickedly enjoying and wickedly ashamed of. I feel okay reading it, while I'm reading it (in fact... I can't put the thing down). But as soon as I try to explain what I'm reading or what happened in the chapter I just finished... I feel like a 14-year-old bimbo. But oh well... it's fun.
- Still can't believe I was in the same building as Michael Cera only an hour ago, and I never got to meet him.
- How is it that I always forget how badly a broken heart really does hurt? Every time it happens (well... the two times it's happened before), I've promised myself I won't let it happen again. That I'm going to shut myself off... stay bitter... avoid males in general. But here I am again. Swimming in my own sea of disappointment and regret. God, this gets old.
- Tonight I was making fun of all the hipsters waiting in line to see Mr. Cera when I looked down and realized, I think I might actually look like one myself. Doh!
- I have really nifty friends. If any of you guys come here anymore... Hi! Y'all are amazing. Thanks for putting up with my heartfelt yet irritating whine over the last few weeks. I'm not over it yet... so there may be more to come. But I promise it'll end sometime. And if/when you want to whine... I'll be right over here waiting, with an empathetic smile and soft shoulder to rest on.
- I think I might be single-handedly keeping Chick-fil-A in business. Not really 'cause tons of people eat there. But sheesh... they know my order now. How embarrassing.
posted by Martha Elaine Belden @ Wednesday, September 17, 2008
14 comments
14 Comments:
The idea of 'writing happiness' is lovely. But it does sound hard. Maybe it only takes a few sentences a day, of something that makes you happy. I once knew two girls who had a 'happy book.' In it they wrote and drew and pasted all kinds of lists and stories and pictures and photos that made them in some small way happy. I started one way back in the day after being delighted by theirs, but never kept it up. I'm thinking of starting one again, except perhaps making it online, since music has the power of making me hugely happy.
Glad to hear you're happy! : )
And I'm totally pumped for Halloween, too, and I think you should definitely make your apartment Hell for an evening. ; )
Good to have you back.
Maybe I should write a blog on hipsterism. I find that hipsters are usually the ones calling other people out for being hipsters, because, let's face it, people who aren't hipsters don't seem to even know that hipsters exist. But on that line of thinking, I think hipsterism is on the outs. In other news, the early 90's are back in a big way.
Well that went on a tangent, but yes, good to have you back. I like happy.
Well, Anton, I think you're right on the pot calling the kettle black, but you're wrong on hipsterism on the outs. Hipsterism is an encompassment of all things hip at the moment, if the early 90's are back in a big way, then those embracing their inner day-glo are the new hipsters. buuut, i could be wrong.
And i had the same moment martha, when i realized that after a hearty dose of verbal abuse directed towards a couple skinny-jean wearing, high-top clad hip boys, i was wearing the same shirt as one of them. Dammit i hate that accidental hypocrisy. at least my ego had a good check there.
really glad you posted! good to see your writing/ranting again. hope there's more to come.
Thanks for the nuggets.
All relationships change. Some end. I think it is utterly perverse to suggest that they inevitably degrade, though. I'd say that if we have that sense about them, then we are trying to hold on to something about them in their earlier stages that's just not meant to be held on to.
I'm glad you're still blogging, even if it takes a while to get around to it sometimes. I will always be looking forward to seeing your next post, and if you'd like, I will happily start hassling you every day until you post something just to get me off your back.
are you sure those two conversations were with different friends? because i have a very distinct memory of having both of them with you. get it right.
Personally, I think all relationships change and if they don't there's something wrong. We all change and grow through life, and when we move on, it's natural that our relationships will either change or fall away...
Puss
so glad to have you back! I miss your posts!
Relationships do change, and it doesn't always have to be for the worse. It's good that you're loyal to your relationships, but I hope that you can also be accepting of their changes and surrender each of them to God, and not try to force things. I don't know if you do, but I sometimes do that, latch onto certain relationships, and try to squeeze something out of them when they're really not that fulfilling and I just need to let go. But that's me.
Yes, please write happiness! Even if it's hard and scary, I think it would be a good process for you and I would enjoy reading it.
I'm also excited about Halloween this year! Last year's Halloween absolutely sucked for me, I mean, it wasn't just lame, it was absolutely horrible, so I'm hopeful that this Halloween will actually be enjoyable! I already bought a costume this past weekend, but it didn't fit, so now I'm thinking of ways to make a costume . . . I'm going to be a fairy, btw :)
I'm glad that you're enjoying Twilight. I secretly want to read the series, and the fact that you're reading it gives me more inspiration.
I'm enjoying the hipster dissection, though I have nothing to add, except great thoughts, guys and gals.
this is where you can get the chairman meow tee shirt
www.obeythekitty.com
Relationships are constantly changing because WE are constantly changing. Personally I think that many of mine have recently been in the process of changing for the better. I hope that it is because I'm in the process of changing for the better too... hopefully becoming wiser, and hopefully a better wife, sister, daughter, coworker and friend.
Unfortunately the process of changing for the better (both personally and in relationships) usually sucks. I've found that it usually seems to involve some kind of suffering. Yuck. And I hate it when people say, "Cheer up, you're being sanctified!" (Insert cheesy smile.) But I think that suffering really does change us, and even transform us, for the better in the long run.
I think it would be hilariously ironical if you were to invite your friends to hell.
Change is the ONLY constant.
Thanks for stopping by, glad that you found your shirt!
I have heard the Twilight series is very interesting. I would love to read it myself should I actually feel like reading after perusing a text book about management systems.
I love this post; I love reading about those little nuggets.
-Mikey Effing Cera!
-I have a hard time when relationships end or change, but sometimes the endings and changes are for the best. What you have said about all relationships being made perfect in heaven has given me a lot of hope, Martha.
-You should write a list of things that make you happy like Britt did a little while ago. I think I'm going to do the same. Lists make me happy - that's going on the list.
-I don't think shutting yourself off, staying bitter, and avoiding males in general is the way to go about preventing a broken heart. Those things will just break our hearts in a different way. I'm slowly learning through many mistakes that the best way to prevent heartache is to entrust my heart to God, pray that he will guard it, that he will turn it cold like Pharaoh's if that is his will, that he will mold it like the potter and soften it if that is his will. I don't know if these prayers prevent heartache, but it's like when the heart starts breaking, God's hands are already wrapped around it, ready to put it back together.
-Chick-fil-effing-A!!
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