My Futile Discourse
As most of you have probably learned by reading me over the months and years... reality is a very difficult concept for me. In fact, I'm not sure if I'm ever in tune with reality. And unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating. It matters not how mundane or how dire the situation may be... I can guarantee that I've conjured up a nice little outline of how I see whatever situation playing out. And rest assured, it is always something fantastic and ridiculous.
I feel like I've written this exact diatribe oh so many times before... ever attempting to remind myself and everyone else that we simply cannot take me seriously. After all, when one is constantly lost in one's own mind... how can one be considered anything but stark, raving mad? I really should be committed... for my own sanity's sake. I drive myself crazy by experiencing life and trying to make each and every moment more than what reality presents.
This has been on my mind a lot over the last couple of months. It has occurred to me again and again that I am consistently trying to jump ahead in the as yet unwritten tale of my own life... and I never seem to understand that I simply can't do this. As I just pointed out... the tale is unwritten... why do I keep trying to read ahead? When will I learn that life is to be lived... that my tale is being told... that I will find out what happens next... and that all I have to do is keep living and allow myself to be surprised and awed by how reality's story plays out?
You want to know when you'll learn this, Martha Elaine? Never. That's when. As your father loves to point out, you're a story teller... and this is what you do. You keep trying to devise your own story... chiefly because you are convinced that you'll be disappointed with the story reality tells. But oh how I wish you'd stop... because the reality tale really isn't so bad... and it's the only one that's really real anyway. And the saddest part is... your happy little story is always trumped by reality anyway... no matter how hard you try to fight it. Don't you know, it would hurt so much less if you'd just stop interrupting... wait... and let reality finish the story?
posted by Martha Elaine Belden @ Monday, December 08, 2008
9 comments
9 Comments:
I loooove this song.
And I like that you're a story teller. I hope that you can find a way to balance your imaginative, creative story-telling with living a life that is still lived in the present. Maybe there will always be a part of you dreaming and scheming about things that may never happen, but I hope that you can also be engaged in the present, because you're right, it trumps any story you can tell.
I'm glad you're writing again...keep it up.
life is an adventure, make the most of it!
Living in the moment, zoning into exactly who and where you are is the underpinning of Zen. I try it all the time, and even succeed for a couple of moments every once in a while.
Oooh, I love the song!
It is difficult for all of us creatives to not constantly dwell in the world of dreams. But sometimes a little dip into reality only heightens the beauty of those dreams. And sometimes reality becomes better than any dream.
But I think many people don't understand that to take away our dreams would be to suck away our life force.
I say do whatever you have to do to be happy.
Beauty, madness, happiness, dreams...maybe they're all the same.
I have to say, no one lives in the real world - it is all perception, so who's to say your perception is any less real than anyone else's?
Be kind to yourself, dear one.
Puss
dunno if i will ever get in touch with the real reality soon enough. ha.... :)
i'm looking forward to xmas though!
Interesting...I am constantly complaining internally about my lack of connection to the present, a.k.a daily reality. But mostly because it makes me seem like a the Absent Minded Professor, not because I believe I live in a fantasy world. There are positive aspects to this ability or knack, you just have to look for them! I think your mind is a beautiful thing.
I kept wanting to say, "But don't you know reality can be better than your dreams?" but you beat me to the punchline.
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